Do you often find your kid not obeying to your words? For as simple a task like – “Go keep the shoes at the right place” and his immediate response would be, “Not, now. I will do it later” or he might just not pay heed to what you just said.
You think he is getting lazy or that his behavior has changed. And that he is becoming more stubborn and arrogant as he is growing.
I will be sharing with you a very practical and tested trick that will help you make your kids listen to you.
I realize it could be very difficult to accept such behavior from your child as you are trying to instill in him the right values and he is not ready to co-operate with you.
‘If I may remind you of how, when you were a child you wanted to experience freedom right from a very young age to be able to grow big soon and to make your own decisions.’
Similarly, when kids are growing they want to experience freedom with their decisions or in their actions. So, if you instruct your child to do something, they will immediately act repulsive and say NO.
Are you are helpless and anxious about this revolting behavior?
Do you feel angry and retort by raising your voice, scolding or punishing them?
It could be surprising that children as little as a 3-5-year-old can also be very rebellious at such a young age. I was surprised and shocked when my 3-year old niece retaliated to my polite request of picking up her own plate after breakfast and leaving it in the sink.
But then, I paused for a while, asked her to sit beside me and I used the secret approach in making kids oblige to our requests.
I reframed my request in a question with CHOICES.
I asked her now, “Okay, Diya. I’m going to be carrying the pickle jar and the plates. I will need your help, would you like to carry the jar, the plates, the spoon or the glasses?”
Dr.Claudia strongly suggests that “giving children choices helps them feel like they have some power and control over what they do, and is a step in growing up”.
For example, if you ask your child to study, their immediate response would be NO.
Instead, if you give them options like, “would you like to do your homework now or let’s start preparing a bit of your project together for the science exhibition next week”.
A good way to start giving children choices is by selecting two or three things and allow them to make their own choices.
- Would you like to have upma or idli-sambhar for breakfast?
- Would you like to use crayons or paint today?
- Do you want to help me clean the shoe stand or shall we clean the cobwebs?
Do you get an essence of why this trick can be so effective? That’s because it’s a win-win situation for both of you.
You give options to your child that you are okay with and your child is choosing the option that he is okay with. Thus, leaving you and the child in a happy and desired space.