Having a happy relationship, it’s not about how often we have fights or arguments but it’s more about how we fight or argue.
My wife, Dee and I have been practicing mindfulness communication while we fight or argue and the results have been extraordinary for the past 3 years.
So, if you really want to know if you and your spouse have what it takes to fight like a happy couple, take a look at how we are doing things differently.
Firstly, we avoid using phrases like “you never….or you always…” as we realize that it’s important to avoid falling into the trap of expressing criticisms with generalizations.
The practice of being aware of what we speak while expressing each others needs, complaints or perspectives has helped us to communicate things more constructively.
And it’s always us versus the problem and the approach has strengthened the bond between us. It’s beautiful to watch and experience the way we support each other in spite of having our own individual differences.
Also, one of the most important belief that we hold together is – ‘to admire and appreciate more of goodness and less of criticism.’ Which means that our ratio of positive emotions are higher than the negative ones.
This particular belief and practice has provided a cushion around our relationship where the hard times don’t feel so hard after all.
Finally as a happy couple we are constantly making more of positive deposits by spending quality time, expressing gratitude, praying together, forgiving quickly and loving unconditionally.