The Much Needed Breakdown – Crying.

I never realized crying could heal someone until l found myself crying silently. With every tear and between little sobs, I experienced unknown pain and hollowness escaping from my body.

Just moments before I broke down, I was all happy, relaxed and just going through with the session. The session was during the NLP training conducted by Ramesh and I was working on self-reflection to find my lost self confidence and to also find ME.

As Ramesh started asking self-reflective questions, the questions were like the torch light guiding me into the deep dark caves which have never been explored before. 

My eyes were gently closed and I was working to find answers to certain questions, trying to recollect past experiences of triumph and failures. The more I traveled deep, I felt as though I had touched places inside me which I had never explored before.

I could sense that I had reached places in me where negative feelings and experiences were caged. It was as if they were waiting for me to come and release them.

I felt this sudden strong desire to break down. They wanted to escape. And they chose to evade through my eyes. My eyes started to get watery, I was holding on to them tightly, not allowing them to go.

But I think that’s because I was used to living with them. And then from somewhere I had this courage to just let it roll, run and escape.

I slowly started to cry harder. I just wanted it all to go..go.. and just go..and to get done with it. I was standing there, under the the tree and crying profusely and after a while, Ramesh came down and hugged me.

Little did I know that the prisoners of  my emotions were sub-consciously holding me back to be the person I wanted to be.

And now, I was standing there feeling light with a tranquil heart and a stillness which I had never experienced before.

It was beautiful – to be able to feel the lightness, the spark, the change, the peace and above all to love myself.

 

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