How to never lose the spark in your relationship.

Someone recently said to my wife that, “I envy you guys being together, I love the chemistry that you both share. I wish my relationship could be like yours”.

It was a compliment wrapped with feelings of despair and a naive thought that the grass is always greener on the other side. We didn’t build that chemistry or spark overnight. And it isn’t like everything has always been well since the day we first met. But over the past three years, together we have inculcated these 8 strong values between us which has resulted in extraordinary energy levels in our relationship.

  1. We don’t take everything seriously. We enjoy laughing together even when we commit any foolish mistakes. Not being very hard on one another and constantly correcting each other is something that we always avoid doing.
  2. We try helping each other at work and home. Stepping into each others shoes very often helps us to understand the work pressure of one another thus extending support whenever needed.
  3. We backpack every year for a month exploring new places and culture. The exposure and experience keeps filling our diaries with many beautiful memories that we make along the way.
  4. We do have arguments and difference of opinions but we practice to arrive at a point without any emergence of negative emotions.
  5. We realize that life is precious and uncertain. This is the most important motto of our life as it helps us to make lemonade when life gives us lemons. Staying positive and seeing positive has helped us live life in good spirits and humor.
  6. We don’ have an image of an ideal relationship. We believe that if we share great energy, optimism, love and respect for one another, we are laying the right emotions for a lasting healthy relationship.
  7. We have developed the habit of expressing genuine appreciation. We appreciate how we both contribute in the relationship and talk about it often. We also thank each other for smaller things that we do for one another which makes a bigger difference. Like, I always thank my wife for ironing my clothes because I am either lazy or too tired to do it.
  8. We are also great motivators for one another. We pull each other up when either one’s boat is sinking.

A good chemistry in a relationship is not an overnight magic. It is a continuous process of efforts. Efforts to learn to adapt, to forgive, to be kind and grateful, to be honest, to be thoughtful, to empathize and to be respectful.

So, the happiest of couples don’t look to see what the grass looks like on the other side. They are happy with the view outside their own front door.

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