I believe that parenting is a beautiful task and if done right, the results are much more beautiful. It is always mesmerizing to see how a seed when nurtured and nourished rightly, grows into a beautiful flower. Similarly if parents invest their valuable time with their children and nurture them with values and right teachings, the child would definitely turn out to be a great asset for the society when they grow old.
Parents today very often repeatedly blame a child for which they are totally not at fault. If they are looking at quick fixes for problems arising with the child, the result will never match the expectations of the parents. Lets read three such very common blame and the ways to handle them correctly.
“You don’t value money” – In today’s time this is one of the most challenging issues faced by parents. They are angry, sad, helpless and unsure of how to make their child understand the value of money. The reason children don’t value money is because parents feel that pampering their child by fulfilling all their needs is the only way of displaying their love for them. When the child gets everything very easily, he will never realize the value of it. What you can do help yourself by making your child value money is by:
- Buy him things only when there is a need and not wants.
- Allow him to share small responsibilities at home and workplace. This would instill a sense of being a part of something larger than themselves.
- Motivate them to achieve certain things because kids completely enjoy the feeling of accomplishment and it helps them grow more confident.
- Have a big heart but keep it strong when you have to draw a line to make them realize when its not worth the buy.
- Don’t come back saying yes when you have already said no. Kids certainly know how to make things work for them. So be equally smart.
“You have only been talking and I can’t see any results” – It is always easier for parents to find faults with their kids and continuously correct them. But how often do you equally shower them with appreciation and encouragement. If you often keep correcting your child and taunt them, it would cause low self esteem and low confidence in them. Parents have to take certain efforts to help their children build strong confidence and high self esteem. What you can do:
- What parents usually overlook is that their kids are victims of their constant harping about mistakes. You need to tell your child that it’s okay to make mistakes because that’s where the real learning comes from.
- Teach them to stay calm and composed and find solutions to problems rather than making them feel guilty and miserable.
- Don’t ever compare your child with others. Every child brings along his own set of skills and talents and as a parent all you need to do is help them find their passion and give your all to help them become the best at what they are good at.
- Allow them to start making small decisions on their own. Don’t always jump to their rescue. Give them sometime to figure out things for themselves and act. This kind of approach is the most effective in building confidence in your kids.
- Always show your kids that you trust them and assure them of your support whenever they need you. The last thing that a kid wants is the acceptance and appreciation of their parents. So give them both in abundance.
“You never listen to me” – Parents expect that it is a moral responsibility of the child to obey to everything that they say. Such parents always believe that they know what is best for their children and they plan their children’s life from birth to career to marriage and beyond. If things do not go as they plan, they perceive that their kids are going wrong and shy away from taking responsibility. If you force your child to always listen to what you say just because you assume that you know everything right, it can cause serious damage to the growth of the child and take a toll on the relationship as well. Things you can do to avoid it:
- Allow your child to tinker with ideas that you think wouldn’t be having specific outcome. Be patient with yourself and observe the creative exploration that your child wants to do. When you observe with an open mind it is easier to understand where the interests are leading them.
- Do not force your dreams, ideas and interests upon them. Be an explorer and allow your child to be one too. Everyone on this planet is born with a passion, your child doesn’t have to follow your passion, instead help them to find theirs.
- As they rightly say, ‘don’t give a man a fish, instead teach him how to fish’. Likewise, help your child to explore their interests. Guide them but don’t have everything prepared for them.
‘If a child has to keep alive his inborn sense of wonder, he needs the companionship of at least one adult who can share it, rediscovering with him the joy, excitement and mystery of the world we live in – Rachel Carson. Let us encourage our children’s curiosity and help them walk new and unexplored paths.