I loved this particular ritual which reminds me of the day we were being wedded. Our hands were cuffed with a white handkerchief while the priest was busy chanting the mantras for the phera. All of a sudden my wife went a little emotional and she gently pressed my hands and looked at me from the corner of her eyes. She looked incredibly beautiful. I could see extreme happiness sparkling in her eyes and I vowed deep from my heart to keep her this happy always.
Well in another five months we would be completing our 3rd wedding anniversary. And until today we enjoy and cherish the spark that we had ignited while we first met. We are proud of ourselves because together we have learnt how to nurture and grow a relationship. Things that we have learnt along the way:
Life is uncertain: We realized this seeing happy and healthy people die very young. People live life as if it is infinite. A man in his mid thirties happily came home after a lovely dinner with his family. And the next day early morning he passed away because of a heart attack, leaving his three year old daughter and wife alone. That’s the uncertainty that I’m talking about.
There is no joy in wasting precious moments of our lives just to hold our ego high. Differences in opinion are bound to come between two individuals. But we have always sorted it out keeping our ego aside. The effort is always to listen and to not react immediately. One of the most beautiful things that we cherish is that we always took time to share a hug every day for the past two years.
Stop, Pause and Play: It is very important to avoid using the sentence, “Hurry up, or we will be late”. People are used to either living in the dead past or the unborn future. The real happiness in life is to be aware of the present; to live in the present.
Every time after watching a movie at the mall, I would say to her, “let’s hurry back home, we have no time for window shopping”. And one fine day, I voluntarily suggested that we browse through the stores and see if she liked anything. She was glad that I said that and while we were finally heading back home, she shared lots of new ideas about window display that she observed at the stores in the mall. The additional one hour was worth her happiness and the conversation we had about the creative window displays.
Invest Time: As Dave Wills rightly points out that, “Time is the currency of relationships. There’s no way to invest into a relationship without investing your time.” Most often people complain that their everyday work eats majority of their time and by the dawn of the day they are too tired to even yawn. We have a rule to stay gadget/internet free an hour before going to bed. We communicate beautiful messages to one another on a whiteboard placed in the room. We have a bucket list of 23 things to do and are intending to finish them by our 5th anniversary. Investing time to do small little things would keep the relationship sparkling. These small little things with loving effort would turn into big happy memories down the lane.
Also, over time we forget to say sweet things to our loved ones. This is a problem because we stop noticing all those wonderful things, and our partner stops hearing about them. We ensure that once a day we are making an investment in our relationship by sharing something that we appreciate about one another.
Always remember that relationships are an investment: the more you put into them, the stronger and more valuable they become. That’s is why it’s important to invest consistently and purposefully.